


Cracking Up

by boomsherlocka



Series: The Aftermath of the Rock Pile [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: AU, Fluff, Kid!Fic, M/M, Were!Penguins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomsherlocka/pseuds/boomsherlocka
Summary: Sid and Geno soon discovered that Nikita did not abide by the same rules they did.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Series: The Aftermath of the Rock Pile [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725439
Comments: 19
Kudos: 123





	Cracking Up

Sid and Geno soon discovered that Nikita did not abide by the same rules they did. 

Unfortunately they learned this in the middle of a day at the park as Geno leaned down to unbuckle Niki from his stroller while Sid set up their picnic area. 

In a blink their baby, who Geno had just finished meticulously coating in a thick layer of sun cream, had been replaced by a rather greasy-looking penguin chick. 

Geno cursed. 

“G, not in front of Nikita,” Sid admonished, glaring at him through his sunglasses. 

“Niki is bird, Sid, we have to go,” Geno hissed. Nikita let out a warbling honk before disappearing inside his shirt. 

“How?” Sid asked as he scrambled to pack up their stuff. 

Geno refastened the buckles of the stroller, hoping Niki would stay still and hidden as they made their way back to the car. “Don’t know! One minute is baby next poof! Is penguin!” 

Sid practically jogged back to the car. “How are we supposed to get him home safely? He won’t fit in the car seat! We don’t have a penguin car seat! We’re going to have to get a penguin car seat! They don’t make those, Geno!” 

“Yes I know,” Geno replied, his tone as calm as he could manage. “For now you hold very careful.” 

They loaded the car in record time, Sid frowning a bit when Geno deposited Niki into his cupped hands. “Why is he all wet?” Sid asked. 

Geno let out an exasperated sigh. “Sun cream!” A group of moms pushing strollers cooed and made to stop, but Geno pointed the car key at them. “It’s just big wet chicken, you can keep go. Sid, get in car.” 

“You could have been nicer,” Sid muttered as he climbed in, settling Nikita in his lap as he fastened his seatbelt. The chick settled in the crease of Sid’s thighs, looking up at him adoringly. “NIki, bud, you’re gonna have to work on that. I know you’re just a little guy, you don’t really understand, but you can’t go turning into a penguin whenever you feel like it.” 

Nikita tilted his head to the side slightly. “Sid, you give pep talk to baby,” Geno said with a chuckle. 

Nikita trilled, his version of a laugh. “He looks so sad, all greasy like this,” Sid said as he tried to re-fluff his down. “When we get home we’ll get you nice and clean, okay?” 

Nikita trilled again, resting his head against Sid’s stomach. “You think he get too hot, maybe? Or… I don’t know, his penguin different than ours.” 

Sid shook his head a bit. “I don’t know, and I’m not really that enthused about the idea of doing experiments on him to try to figure that out. Maybe we start with hanging out in the backyard a little more?” 

Geno laughed again. He couldn’t help it. The whole situation was ridiculous and hilarious and honestly would only happen to him and Sid. Not one of Flower’s children had spontaneously turned into a penguin. 

“I can’t believe you called our son a big wet chicken,” Sid giggled, his head falling back against the headrest. “You’re going to give him a complex!” 

They were bath laughing uncontrollably and it really only died down when Nikita let out an irritated squawk because Sid’s shaking was annoying him. 

When they made it home, Niki was promptly deposited in a warm bath, which he enjoyed immensely. He couldn’t quite dive, the water wasn’t deep enough, but he flapped his little wings and splashed around in the water until Geno was pretty well soaked. 

He used the dish soap with the picture of a duck covered in oil on the front, because a penguin chick covered in sun cream seemed close enough. 

After he washed all of the cream from Niki’s down he was content to just let him play. He’d take a much better nap that way, that was for sure. 

Geno was in the process of recording Niki trying to climb on top of a toy sailboat when in a flash their baby was back, sitting up and bringing his foot down on the sailboat. 

Geno dropped his phone and moved forward, not sure if Nikita could readjust his equilibrium quickly enough not to topple over. 

Nikita’s sharp little eyes tracked his movement and he smiled his gummy smile, reaching his arms out for Geno. “You all finished with your bath, little one? Come here, I get you warm and dry.” 

Geno wrapped him in a towel and let the water out of the tub before taking him to his room. Sid was in the middle of putting up a pack and play lined with puppy pads and narrowed his eyes a bit when he saw Geno enter with an armful of human baby. “Well look who decided to join us,” Sid said with a little smile, his hands on his hips. 

“He decide bath so fun as penguin, he want to have as little boy too,” Geno said. “But I’m use duck soap on him, so definitely need lotion.” 

“Duck soap?” Sid asked, a confused crinkle to his brow. 

“Blue soap with duck on front, use to clean dishes and sad ducks,” Geno said as he settled down with Nikita on the bed. “He all greasy, need to get him clean.”    
  
Sid chuckled as he came over with fresh clothes and lotion, pressing a kiss to Nikita’s forehead before tickling the little bundle. Nikita squealed, squirming down into the towel. 

“Come on, try to hold him still,” Sid said softly as he warmed up some lotion between his palms.    
  
Geno said a quick prayer under his breath and unwrapped the towel, trying to keep the squirming to a minimum. 

It was never easy, but soon enough Nikita was moisturized and dressed and ready for lunch. 

Geno was ready for a nap. 

  
  


_/\\_ 

  
  


If it got too cold, Nikita would turn into a penguin. Too hot, penguin. Geno was reminded of Goldilocks, trying to find what was just right so their son remained human enough long enough to take him in public. 

Family skate was fun. 

Despite being completely bundled up Nikita turned into a penguin so he could slide around on his stomach on the ice and trilling happily.    
  
It was pandemonium. 

Alex and Estelle quickly played bodyguard, making sure no one got too close to Nikita but also took turns sliding on their stomachs with him, having far too much fun. Some of the other kids were eventually allowed to play as well, but the adults couldn’t help but hover.    
  
“This is crazy,” Flower said with a loud laugh, bouncing Scarlett on his hip.    
  
Geno picked NIkita’s clothes off the ice with a sigh. 

“We’re… figuring it out,” Sidney said with a shrug, smiling as he watched Estelle tumble across the ice. 

“Alexander keep your clothes on please!” Tanger called as he zoomed across the ice, and Flower laughed even louder. 

Things were only going to get even more interesting. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you have anything you'd like to see in this universe let me know. I'm taking inspiration. ;)


End file.
